Imma firin mah lazor

Disclaimer: nothing to do with SWTOR. I love star wars, but I prefer my games cartoony.

Since I had some spare time over the holiday and didn’t feel like Raid Finding all the toons, I rolled a fresh young orc shaman. The idea was to level as resto, because everyone loves healers, amirite?* Herewith impressions by level, approximately 1-47.

1 – New orc here! Right, boars, grubs, weasels, peons… fascinating stuff, sure. Lemme out of here.

3 – Primal strike! Like I need an excuse to roll another melee class. Must… resist…

4 – My first totem! It helps me hit things in the face. Now they’re just screwing with me.

5 – A new spell! It’s an instant, so I can… cast it while hitting things in the face? Whatever, time to blow this popsicle stand and make tracks for Sen’jin. Dem trolls know how to party.

7 – Turns out the trolls, despite their freshly rediscovered druidic ways, are just as obsessed with slaughtering arbitrary wildlife as the post-environmentalist orcs, only they do it in the name of ‘mojo’**. But I got my first real healy spell! Unlike tree heals, this one makes a satisfying splashy sound. Pity I’ll basically never need to cast it, though. /flex

8 – Lightning shield! Makes me feel much more castery, right up until the point where I realise it’s basically just helping me tank things with my face better.

10 – The pyro level! A weapon enhancement that adds fire damage to my melee attacks… uh, thanks? …and I get a shiny new totem that shoots fire. Wait a sec, these things are on the GCD? I need to drop each totem separately? FFFFFFUUUUU~… but at least I can pick a spec. Gogo resto! I’m a real healer now, with an Earth shield and everything! And I totally didn’t hover over the Enhancement button for like a minute before picking resto***. cof. The starter talents for resto are a bit meh, let’s go with the generic “x% moar healz” one.

12 – I’m in ur Azshara, exorcising ur bulldozers. Oh, and I have a rez now. good thing too, it’s just a couple of levels before the dungeon finder unlocks and I have a tank-like object to direct my heals at. And probably a few of these Ancestral whatsits too.

15 – I can turn into a ghost puppy! It doesn’t use the atrocious “dire wolf” model, so I can stand to watch it run! Now I can go chill with the druids. Yo dawg, we put a dawg in your… you know what, no. No time for this, let’s queue for a dungeon, it’ll probably be Ragefire anyway…

16 – …or not. So far it’s been Deadmines. At least the quests mean I level like a mofo. And I have a ranged interrupt now! This is the new best thing ever, since deeps never ever interrupt anything ever. I foresee much use for this.

18 – Got my Cleanse, which apparently only works for curses atm, but it’s amazing how many of those you run into in SFK for a low lvl dungeon. I don’t even

20 – Healing triple-play, with Water shield, Healing surge (which seems to be a flash heal that someone went and misnamed) and Healing stream totem. Wait a sec… another damn totem to drop? Oh well, at least I have flash heal now – just about none of these ‘tanks’ have actually bothered to spec protection. Or pick up a shield. The exception being a really friendly bear in Wailing Caverns, which is still a timesink because while the dead-ends have been removed, it still twists in on itself and no-one knows the way. Especially entertaining when you zone in and some bosses have been killed but no-one seems to know which. Oh, also, mounts but I don’t care because I am a GHOST WOLF

25 – Stockades seems to attract terrible tanks, and Blackfathom attracts good tanks. Running stocks feels like I’m wandering through a tanzanian swamp with no mosquito repellent.

29 – OH GOD I HATE GNOMEREGAN SO MUCH NO TANK DON’T GO START THAT STUPID TUNNEL SIDE EVENT THAT TAKES LIKE 10 MINUTES /leave****

30 – Oh hey cool, a skill that lets me drop 4 totems at once. So that’s how those other shammies do it. How convenient that it comes along with the final totem that completes my elemental quumvirate. By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN SHAMMEH /pose

35 – Dungeons are pretty easy at this point, and the tanks are mostly actually specced and know what they’re doing. Take up skinning. Nothing cool for me from 30-40. /cry

39 – Oh wait, a talent that lets me remove magic effects with my Cleanse. How fascinating.

40 – I have laser heals. This makes up for everything. THE GAME IS PERFECT CARRY ON

41 – Oh god I’m oom why would you give me this and I can’t cast it whyyyyyy~ and what are these tanks doing in Stratholme I have mobs all over me oh nooooooo

42 – [mana spring totem slips past completely unnoticed]*****

44 – A castery totem that helps me oom faster on ridiculous tanks that insist on pulling half of Strat at once! I have seen one tank pull this off properly, not accidentally pulling groups by getting flung from an abomination and controlling the mobs so that they all eat the healer. Every single other tank pulls everything that they can reach and then complains about me me while I’m flash/chain healing all the things. And they’re ignoring their own self-healing abilities. And running around corners out of LoS while I’m trying to save the rest of the party that’s still in combat. GJ guys.

45 – Seriously, bad tanks in Strat, please all die. All of you.

46 – Dire maul. The last one. Can’t remember the name. The second-last boss in the passageway. A party member gets the suit, runs in to bypass… and the lvl 44 tank charges the boss, gets feared into the next room and we wipe with about a million adds. Hunter doesn’t run back, I refuse to rez, he tries to run in and gets repeatedly annihilated. Eventually we pull again, with the (competent) party member who got the suit having left and been replaced. Tank pulls the boss back, we deal with the fear, and then the adds show up and the tank just disintegrates. I can’t heal him fast enough. We wipe. I think this might actually be my fault, and leave in shame, not wanting to play this character again for the rest of the day.

47 – Cooking dailies. Can’t bring myself to queue.

So yeah. Right now it feels like I’m somehow missing an important tool or something. I mean, I used Nature’s Swiftness, was flash healing like a mofo, even potted, but… we wiped. I couldn’t hack it. The terrible, terrible tanks in the aforementioned levels I somehow managed to keep up (apart from one that I lost when he ran around a corner, but we didn’t wipe) – but honestly, maybe they were legitimately expecting bigger better heals? I don’t know.

Maybe I should try PvP. Healers seem popular in PvP, and shammies are supposed to be pretty good as antipersonnel healers.

* if you haven’t played a healer: no. No, I am not rite. Right. Whatever.

** do yourself a favour and do the witchdoctor in training’s quests, then take advantage of his cures for various ailments. Classic!

*** blatant lies

**** yes, I did in fact just flat-out leave on the second time a tank did this. There’s no quest associated with it, it takes about half the time you need to clear the place if you’re with a decent group, and it mostly involves waiting around. Include me out.

***** well, not really, but it’s either ignore this or give up Healing Stream, which I’m talented into

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