Dude looks like a lady

Upon opening my blog this morning, I immediately noticed that yesterday I’d referred to my death knight as male. Not that it’s easy to tell behind the enormous toy hammer, but that’s not the case.

There’s something very solid about female tauren – they’ve got a densely-built, muscular look, and heavy armour looks really bold and chunky on them. It speaks to my aesthetic sensibilities. Then again, my female characters consist of a pretty boyish-looking Forsaken,* an orc shaman** that I’d give even odds could bench my tauren priest, and then the aforementioned dk. We’re not exactly talking paragons of traditional femininity, here.

Now, my rogue hasn’t really worked out. He sits there at lvl 85, trying to convince me to sink my time into sneaking about and stabbing troggs’ guts out through their toenails. Problem is, that’s a very specific play-niche, and not one that I have a lot of time to invest in. In instances… well… his damage is good and his rotation is actually pretty simple once you have timers to handle the debuffs, but I really prefer my other melee. Pretty much any other melee. He’s geared for entry to LFR, and it’s going to be a bit of a loss, but I think with no slots left on the server it’s time to cut my losses and drop him.

My fiancee wants to level a pally as a healer, and I thought I’d give the druid another go. Maybe a bear, since balance doesn’t seem to be my thing and she’s already got healing covered. Coming back to the starting point of this post… the question is what to roll.

Tauren again seems the obvious choice for a tank, but troll racials are more flexible and besides, the troll form models just look great. And I can’t really get past the image of the troll druid trainer napping in cat form in the Valley of Spirits. She looks so cuddly!*** Which just leaves the question of gender.

Troll females… are ungainly. The males have a sort of easy relaxed flow to everything they do. The females… they’re stiff. Clumsy. They even look uncomfortable when they’re just standing there, like a stick figure among people they don’t get along with at a party they were forced to attend. This is probably why so many troll NPCs are always dancing. Also, there’s only really one decent troll face, and everyone playing one uses it. Well, I guess there’s a second, if you don’t mind wandering around with a permanent expression of “derp” on your mug.

Now, for a druid this solves itself, provided that I am never in caster form. Ever. The problem comes in when I’m wandering around the character screen, trying to pick something to play. Should I pick the creepy forsaken? The noble tauren priest? One of the cocky blood elves? The rock-solid death knight? Or the awkward-looking pile of firewood – wait, never mind, pass, let’s play something else.

I don’t know, it just sort of feels like the race’s entire budget for coolness factor was completely blown on the males, and the animation team kinda rushed the females out as a bit of an afterthought. Sigh. Why can’t they all be as awesome as the tauren?


* who probably resembles me the most out of my toons, but for the fact that I have longer (and dark) hair. and I’m pretty sure my eyes don’t glow.

** though if you don’t like hooves or skeletal waifs, this is probably the most attractive model in the game

*** yes, whatever, shut up. cuddles nao.

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